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10 Worst He-Man Characters

If you’re a child of the 80s like me then you most likely have at least a passing fancy of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe series. Launched in 1981 by Mattel, the MOTU series is a basic story of good vs. evil, pitting the heroic He-Man against “The Evil Lord of Destruction” Skeletor and his henchmen in an epic battle for the planet of Eternia.

Since its initial launch, the franchise has spawned four cartoon series, several comic series, a Velveeta-soaked film starring Dolph Lundgren, and an abundance of action figures. When I was a kid I loved the cartoon and owned almost every action figure. I still look back on those days with fondness. It was a simpler time. A time when kids counted on their own creativity and innocent ingenuity – rather than on Sony or Microsoft’s latest brand of technology – to conjure a playground of possibilities.

Time and retrospect have a way of shedding new light on dusty, old recollections. In the midst of adolescent endeavors you don’t take the time to ponder the disturbing nature of playing with muscular male dolls that are 90% naked. You also tend to ignore ridiculous character names such as Stinkor.

These later-year revelations don’t taint the joy I had orchestrating a successful raid on the evil Horde – an attack that led to the deaths of Hordak and Grizzlor – but they do allow me to reminisce by poking fun at many of the characters with which I am familiar.

And I’m not even including all the wonderfully cheesy characters relegated exclusively to the She-Ra series (Perfuma, Mantenna, Peekablue)!  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you my choices for the 10 Worst He-Man characters of all time.

10. Orko

OrkoOn paper, Orko is an inept magician from the world of Trolla who was intended to be a source of comic relief.  In reality, Orko is the MOTU version of Jar Jar Binks.  Admittedly, the character is easily acceptable by 10-year-olds who will no doubt laugh uproariously at the backfiring of Orko’s magic spells, but this is the same age demographic who cackles at Uncle Larry’s “finger pulling” trick, so their judgment is not to be considered in very high regard.  We would be better off if Orko would use his magic to make himself disappear.

9. Snout Spout

Snout Spout

Snout Spout?  Seriously?  A cyborg with a human body and a metallic elephant head?  The character was never given any real development, and for good reason.  His greatest accomplishment comes during a cameo in the He-Man & She-Ra Christmas Special when he extends his trunk to place a star on the tree.  Look at the thing.  Can you imagine the interview process to join the Heroic Warriors?

“So, um, what special abilities do you have?”

“I can shoot water out of my trunk!”

“In other words, you can spout stuff out of your snout?”


“And that’s where you got your name?”

“Uh, yeah.  That about sums it up.”

Perhaps he’s useful for putting out fires, but if he were alongside me in battle I’d die laughing every time I looked at him or thought about his ridiculous name. Victory would surely be Skeletor’s.

8. Clawful

ClawfulClawful combines two of the MOTU creators’ biggest trademarks – names that are a play on words and action figures with a prominent limb. First, he’s a bad guy, therefore, he’s awful. But what really brings it home is that he’s a weird human/lobster hybrid with a gigantic claw for his right hand. Combine the two and VOILA! Clawful! What I want to know is why only one of his claws is so prominent. Was there nuclear-tainted water in Eternia?

The writers missed out on two possibilities for Clawful’s arch-nemesis:

  1. Clawsome – He would’ve been a good guy from the same species as Clawful. His oversized claw could have opened to reveal that it held first aid supplies for any of Clawful’s victims.
  2. Tartor – Rather than go with the obvious “Tartar,” this gives us the opportunity to use “or” at the end of a character name as the writers absolutely loved to do.

7. Ninjor

NinjorThe MOTU characters are the most lazily-named figures in the history of comic franchises. This is an example of yet another trademark of the MOTU creators – just add “or” to the end of a character name. To ensure maximum cheesiness, add the “or” to the end of something that describes who or what you are. There should have been a character named Writor who did nothing but write lists of bad baby names for the citizens of Eternia.

This cat’s a ninja? We’ll call him Ninjor! The franchise already had one character who possessed skills in the martial arts – Jitsu – so Ninjor’s existence is fairly pointless. His stupid name catapults him into lame status.

6. Buzz-Off

Buzz OffThis character is a humanoid bee. That’s it. He could fly around and act as a spy for He-Man. How exactly does that incorporate any of the natural abilities of the bee? At the least they could have made him He-Man’s lackey who was forced to go gather honey whenever He-Man wanted biscuits for breakfast.

Not only does this thing not possess any envious powers, but come on, Buzz-Off? What a way to go through life. If someone addresses him how does he know if they’re actually calling his name or telling him to get lost?

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7 Responses to “10 Worst He-Man Characters”

  • courtney Abston:

    Yea they where the worst i really do agree.I love he-man my self,they need to make a movie full of action about it!!!!!

  • admin:

    I agree. A new He-Man movie has been discussed for quite a while. There was a screenplay floating around, and the story was much more dark and epic. It would’ve made for an awesome movie. I’m hoping it will eventually make it to the big screen.

  • Australian Ann:

    I won’t make jokes about what Fisto and He-Man got up to.

    Snout Spout looks like He-Man in disguise.

    I enjoyed the little conversation with him. I love that Buzz-off could potentially gather pollen in his free time to increase his usefulness.

    I never thought about Man-E faces armor being a dead giveaway as to his identity. I had a Man-E faces and Meganeck (Meckaneck?) action figure. The neck extension could be at least somewhat useful for seeing over high defensive walls and such.

    If I ever get into a situation where I have to manipulate moss, I’ll email you and rub your face in it.

  • admin:

    I had Mekaneck as well! He was dubbed the “human periscope.” I remember he had a bright yellow club to go with his bright blue tights and bright orange armor. The He-Man spies were always so inconspicuous.

    And I will gladly recant my comments regarding Moss Man should you ever find a valuable need for manipulating moss. He probably should’ve just been the guy who ran his own garden center.

  • Aaron:

    I like your list, but I think…

    Ramman should have been on this list instead of like Fisto and Man-E-Faces. Essentially, his only ability was hitting things with his head and even on the tv show his character was a moron and brain-dead. Also, his action figure was the biggest piece of garbage that did even have moveable legs Haha.

    Some of other honorable mentions should be:

    1. Mekaneck… what a useless ability.
    2. Jitsu… who looked kind of like a bad racial stereotype
    3. Imp (She-ra)… as annoying as Orko and completely pointless

  • I think you should make more of them like his power one because i been a big fan of him and i like him can i met him some time because i want to go on a date. I have been a big fan to 2001 though 2013

  • Daphne S.:

    Just stumbled across this and want to give my opinion that one of the lamest villains is Plunder, the talking purple humanoid rabbit. I have that episode and I still have no idea what his plans are, because every time it shows him talking, I laugh so hard I can’t hear the dialogue.

    I don’t think Plunder ever had an action figure, for good reason.

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