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Hound Dog Desert - A Movie Mark Original

Tagline: He Ain't No Friend of Yours.
Cast: Lorenzo Lamas, an Elvis impersonator

Hound Dog Desert

In a desperate effort to keep up with the fast-paced world of Elvis impersonating, a Las Vegas Elvis impersonator (played by a real-life Elvis impersonator) resorts to taking a No-Doze/steroid concoction.  Unfortunately, the hound dog that he uses as part of his stage act gets into his stash and inexplicably grows to 40 feet tall.

The hound dog rampages through the city before running off to find refuge in the hot Nevada desert.  A team of Special Forces, led by former Navy Seal Teddy Bare (Lorenzo Lamas), is called in to hunt the dog down and put it to sleep.  The Elvis impersonator tags along hoping that he can convince Teddy Bare and his men not to kill his beloved canine partner.

Bare’s Opening Scene:  Teddy Bare and his men arrive in Las Vegas and immediately begin to assess the situation.  The Elvis impersonator introduces himself, but Bare is very gruff and curt with him.  The Elvis wannabe huffs and exclaims, “They said you was high classed. Well, that was just a lie.”

Pivotal Scene:  Bare and his men (including Spider Murphy, Little Joe, and Drummer Boy) have reached the desert and are ready to begin their search.  Bare is concerned about being attacked from the left or right, and he wants to make sure he’s covered on all sides.  He asks his men what they think they should to do assure this.  The Elvis impersonator speaks up and says, “Flank you, flank you very much.”

Climactic Scene:  Once Bare and Co. track down the Hound Dog, they have come to the conclusion that they have no alternative but to take him down.  He can never be returned to his normal size, and a 40-foot dog cannot be allowed to roam the streets.

This doesn’t sit well with the Elvis impersonator, but he’s outnumbered and has no recourse.  He looks at Bare and says, “You live for this, don’t you? You’re just itchin’ to kill something.”

Bare turns to him, takes the cigar out of his mouth, smiles, and replies, “Like a man on a fuzzy tree.”

Editor’s Note:  A working knowledge of Elvis lyrics will help the viewer understand the true genius behind this cinematic masterpiece.

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