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Tagline: Chuck Norris never says never...
Cast: Chuck Norris, Beard Norris, Lorenzo Lamas
In the not-too-distant future, man-made machines develop a life of their own and start to destroy the species that created them. Grizzled detective Tuff Dakota (Chuck Norris) and his beard (Beard Norris) are assigned to the case. Dakota, recognizing that he will need some help, calls in a brilliant mathematician (Lorenzo Lamas wearing glasses) for advice.
After running a few calculations and plugging a bunch of meaningless numbers into equally meaningless formulas, Lamas determines that in order to defeat the machines they will have to figure out a way to do something that man has never done. They’ll have to figure out a way to… DIVIDE BY ZERO!
Climactic Scene: Despite Dr. Lamas’ claims that they simply can’t divide by zero, Dakota (amidst the onslaught of machine-orchestrated attacks) sits down at a computer and decides he is the one who must figure this out.
When Dr. Lamas asks him what he plans on doing, Dakota mentions something about “reversing the Euclidean algorithm, plugging that into the Pythagorean theorem, and then raising it to the power of e.” A befuddled Dr. Lamas stares blankly into space and then replies, “But you don’t understand! We can’t divide by zero! It isn’t possible!”
Dakota strokes his beard, throws Lamas a hard glare, and remarks, “Perhaps you haven’t been told – ‘isn’t’ isn’t in my dictionary.”
Before Dr. Lamas can note the contradiction in that sentence, Dakota roundhouse kicks him in the head and gets back to work before it’s too late to save the world.