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Human Fillet - A Movie Mark Original

Tagline: Eat more human.
Cast: Lou Diamond Phillips, Betty White

Human Fillet

Becoming frustrated that their efforts to try to get humans to eat more chicken aren’t as successful as they hoped, the cows decide it’s time to go after what they feel is the source of the problem and eat more humans.  A deadly combination of this frustration and mad cow disease (which becomes more out of control than ever) turns the formerly docile bovines into savage killers.

A former Idaho PD detective (Lou Diamond Phillips) is called in to find a solution to the problem.  Before he was kicked off the police force for breaking one rule too many (and rubbing the top brass the wrong way with his lone warrior ways) he was considered the best in the game.  That’s why the citizens of this small, rural Idaho town trust him more than anybody wearing an official badge.

Upon arriving on the scene and surveying the damage that has already been done, Phillips declares, “This is a cow-tastrophe.”  A senile fringe animal rights activist (Betty White) is against any sort of violence towards the animals – despite the fact that they’re killing humans – and she protests his arrival.  Phillips looks her dead in the eye and responds, “Sorry, but I don’t KOWTOW to activists,” and informs the citizens that, “I might not make good decisions any more, but I make a mean burger,” signaling that everything’s going to be all right.

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