Welcome to page 2.  We come back from commercial to see the Kid riding into town on his newly- (albeit fraudulently) acquired horse. Rather than the usual (to us now) opening credits all we see this time are the cast members’ names thrown up on the screen.

Kid rides past a Pony Express sign and makes his way into what one can only assume is a Pony Express sign-up office. The Kid says, “It’s me on the sign outside.” The man immediately calls for the sheriff. The sheriff arrives and promptly arrests The Kid for admitting to being the man on the “Wanted Dead or Alive” sign outside the office. The Kid explains he was talking about the Pony Express sign he saw. Everybody has a good laugh over the misunderstanding and goes about their merry ways.  Don’t remember that part? They cut it out of the Family Channel and Odyssey episodes.

Odyssey.  I barely remember that channel.  Anybody know what it became?  I’m sure I could Google it, but I’ll leave mundane stuff like that up to y’all.

The man asks the Kid if he has any relatives or anybody to account for him. The Kid BLATANTLY LIES and says no. Did you forget about Jed? Hmmm? He’s only your brother! I guess getting the job is more important than family? Do you see a pattern here, folks? First the fraudulent $30, now the job. Sad. Is that any way for a leader to act? IS THAT ANY WAY FOR A HERO TO ACT?!?!?!

The Kid then begins to read the oath he has to sign. Whew, I’m glad the dude reads it for him; it would’ve taken us 30 minutes to sit through Kid’s attempts at reading. Then he signs his mark on the oath. I guess it’s pretty much understood it’s an “X” he’s drawing, but could there be a chance he was writing his name? It’s worth looking into. Are there any handwriting experts out there? If so, then maybe you can watch Kid’s hand movements and determine what he wrote. Maybe we can finally solve the mystery and figure out what his real name is. To me, it looked like he was writing “Beula” but I could be wrong.

One thing I want you to remember is the oath asks the riders to agree not to fight with any other riders. This will come into play later in this review, so please keep it in mind.

Kid as the leader?  Please.

Next, we see all the riders gathered together. We then get our introduction to Teaspoon. He arises from a horse trough, wipes his face off with a horse’s tail, and then rubs some kind of salve under his arm. This causes the boys to shake their heads in disgust. It’s a cool, eccentric introduction to the grizzled former Texas Ranger. Hello grizzled eccentricity, Teaspoon is thy name!

What proceeds is Teaspoon “learning” everybody his bag of tricks. Oooh, Buck really knows his arrows!  He’s an Indian, after all, what else would you expect? Now comes the coolest introduction of all. Teaspoon approaches Jimmy Hickok, and we have the following exchange:

Jimmy reacts to Kid pretending to be the leader.

Teaspoon: You’re wearin’ that Colt a mite low ain’t ya?
Jimmy: Feels about right.
Teaspoon: Got a hair trigger?
Jimmy: Yep.
Teaspoon: What’s your name?
Jimmy: Jimmy.
Teaspoon: You’re whole name.
Jimmy: Hickok. James Butler Hickok.
Teaspoon: Well get this Mr. Hickok, I don’t like no hair trigger around me. You’re here for ridin’, not for gunfightin’, but if it’s trouble you want, you’ll get a belly full.

Jimmy is unfazed, and this, my friends, is why Hickok rules. This exchange is now in the running for the “Emmy worthy scene” of the episode.

We then see Cody knock Jimmy off his horse when he throws a mailbag at him. Jimmy takes exception to this and pulls Cody off his horse. Jimmy proceeds to hit Cody, which can only be described as fighting with another rider! WE’RE NOT EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH THE SHOW AND TWO OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS ARE ABOUT TO BE KICKED OUT OF THE PONY EXPRESS FOR FIGHTING! THESE WRITERS ARE THE GUTSIEST I’VE EVER SEEN!

We come back to the group of riders and Jimmy and Cody are still there. Hmm, I guess the Pony Express isn’t too stringent on those rules. So let’s see, now we’ve got Ike and his bald head. Teaspoon says some of the boys might lose their hair to an Indian as opposed to Scarlett Johansson Fever.  Really, Teaspoon?  She’s not that good-lookin’.

Teaspoon then approaches Cody and another cool exchange takes place:

Teaspoon: You for instance. What is your name?
Cody: (Slowly looks up) Cody. William F. Cody. (Smirks and looks away) Billy, if you like.
Teaspoon: I don’t like. (Slaps Cody’s face back towards him). You think you’re pretty hot stuff, don’t ya?
Cody: Yep.
Teaspoon: Cow pies.

Cody slowly turns around, positions his rifle, and shoots through a rope holding a bale of hay.  The other riders are impressed.

Teaspoon: Don’t need to impress me Cody, I ain’t gonna be chasing ya.

Very cool scene.  Except for Teaspoon’s disrespectful condescension towards Cody.

Jimmy and Cody have had the best intros.  Is it any wonder that they’re my two favorites?  Teaspoon then comes upon a puny little guy named Lou. We find out that Lou is puny, but spry. This guy looks like a total wimp. Looks almost girlish. Kid then lets us all know he doesn’t want a rifle issued to him because he’d prefer to save the weight. Wuss.

Teaspoon wraps up these introductions by informing the riders that they’re gonna tie the United States together, and as he does this we see all the riders riding in slow motion in what will become the ending credits. It’s a cool scene.

We quickly move to a scene where some generic bad guys are raiding a camp. The main bad guy – sporting a scar to demonstrate he’s the least generic – emerges from a tent with some valuables. A man comes out of the tent and tells Scarface he has no right to take it. Scarface shoots him and says, “I do now.” Huh? Since when is there a rule that if you kill someone, you then have the right to take his property? I guess they really didn’t call it the “Wild West” for nothing.

Commercial break.

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